Sometimes I wander around the house aimless. Mostly, they are times when I was going to be smoking, but now I'm not so I just sort of pace from room to room like I'm looking for something I lost. I'm not lost, I just don't have something else to fill that void. It's not like there was anything stressful or wrong, maybe I was just bored and so would normally break the monotony by smoking. Maybe I just needed a bread from whatever job I was doing. Maybe my brain just needed some rest. But, I don't realize I'm doing it until I've taken a couple of laps and I'm just standing there slightly confused about my mission.
Anyone else relate?
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Wandering
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3 comments:
That is so ironic. I am finding myself doing the same thing today.
I will go to the couch (where I usually smoked due to the sliding glass door i opened while smoking), then to the kitchen, then to the computer, and on and on. Literlly, pacing.....i sure hope that changes soon, i am wearing myself out. :&)
I think it's about the transition. I would smoke when I finished one project and before I started another. It was both a reward for getting something done and a preparing for doing something else. Smoking was the way I made a mental transition.
Now it's gone and I don't know what to replace it with. So I just wander around without aim or destination for a few minutes.
Worse things could happen. It's not that bad. It's a bit mystifying.
I completely identify - Smoking was definitely my reward for completing one thing, and I had to do it before moving on to the next thing...I've been a wandering too!
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