Monday, October 22, 2007

No Longer A Failure

You know what the best thing about quitting smoking is?

I don't have to feel like a failure anymore. Out of the 20 years of smoking I did, I spent the last 7 torturing myself with self-loathing and a permanent sense of failure.

Pre-kid I just assumed I was smoking until I decided to quit. But, 7 years ago I got pregnant with my first child and I went back to smoking the minute that baby was no longer using my body for a hotel. Same with Baby #2.

The terrible thing was that by that time I no longer wanted to be shackled to smoking and had started trying to quit. I would give up so frequently that I felt like a constant failure.

When you repeat messages like:

I suck. I'm a loser. I'm a failure. I hate myself. Why am I so selfish? I hate myself for this. I'm so humiliated by my failure. What is wrong with me? I'm a horrible human being. I'm such a bad example to my children. I'm a bad parent. I stink.

Well, it has a real and significant impact on your self esteem. You really start to feel like a loser and a failure becuase you are failing over and over.

When you start taking Chantix, one of the most significant things you can do for yourself, to reinforce your quit, is to stop the negative self-talk.

You're not a failure. You get to stop being a failure now.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Screw this drug! First off, it made me immediatly ill - within seconds! Then I felt like I was about to vomit! This happened to both my wife and I! My best friend tried it and within a week he was so screwed up, he threatened bodily harm to his wife and was ready to leave her for no reason whatsoever, save his psycosis! My brother has been on it (and is scrounging my script) for over six months and still has not quit smoking! Oh yeah, by the way, his nuts are swollen like acorns! There is something ver, very wrong here! The FDA is going to regret this major mistake!

Tracee said...

I'm sorry you're having trouble. It sounds like you're very frustrated and angry.

I suppose you like the idea of dying of cancer or emphasema better?

Or giving your children asthma and chronic breathing problems more than the current side effects?

Perhaps it's the sucking your finances dry by spending a million dollars continuing to smoke that continues to appeal to you?

Dragging an oxygen tank around in your 50s sounds more appealing than short term nausea and irritability?

bob m said...

Tracee - congratulations on being smoke-free!

I think "anonymous" has some anger management issues!

I have been taking Chantix for 18 days now, and in 10 hours will be smoke-free for 2 weeks. I have had virtually no side effects from Chantix and neither have any of my friends who have taken it. I wish you continued success with your quit!

srosalia said...

Sounds like anonymous dosen't want to stop. Yes it's frustrating and any time you take a medication that is aimed at the brain, you will feel "different".
You're right Tracee...frustration and anger, that's what I feel sometimes at myself!! I hope Chantix dosen't get a bad rap.

on the fence said...

I havent had the issues the the first poster had. Although i must to say that even though i did quit smoking, it was not from the pills, but rather the result of taking the product and experiencing terrible results, such as uncontrolable anger, and pretty much feeling like i was going to lose my lunch all day. I quit after realing that if it was worth that kind of desperate measure, that i really had to stop smoking, and just stopped smoking- good luck to everyone else

Tracee said...

whatever was effective for you - that's my motto. If it works - do it. If it doesn't - try something else until you find what does!

Bender said...

Are you supposed to try to quit while on Chantix or does it make you stop?

Tracee said...

you should quit after you take it for the first week. Smoke during week one- stop buying cigarettes and continue to take the pill for 3 months. Struggle to find other ways to cope and other things to do with all your newfound time and money!