I'll be on the Healthy Wealthy Wow radio program on the Grapevine Talk Radio Network on Thursday at 1:29 CST.
I won a radio contest (which I wasn't even listening to)for the Law of Attraction Action Pack and now I get to go on the radio program and chat about how it's effected me.
It's an Internet radio program so be sure to tune in. I'll try to post the podcast up here once it's recorded so you'll be sure not to miss it.
Wish me luck!
I'm reading A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61)
A long-standing compulsive behavior pattern may be called an addiction, and an addiction lives inside you as a quasi-entity or subpersonality, and energy field that periodically takes you over completely. It even takes over your mind, the voice in your head, which then becomes the voice of the addiction. It may be saying "You've had a rough day. You deserve a treat. Why deny yourself the only pleasure that is left in your life?" And so, if you are identified with the internal voice due to lack of awareness, you find yourself waking to the fridge and reaching for that rich chocolate cake. . . If you have a compulsive behavior pattern such as smoking, overeating, drinking, TV watching, Internet addiction, or whatever it may be, this is what you can do: When you notice the compulsive need arising in you, stop and take three conscious breaths. This generates awareness. Then for a few minutes be aware of the compulsive urge itself as an energy field inside you. Consciously feel that need to physically or mentally ingest or consume a certain substance or the desire to act out some form of compulsive behavior. Then take a few more conscious breaths. After that you may find that the compulsive urge has disappeared - for the time being. Or you may find that it still overpowers you, and you cannot help but indulge or act it out again. Don't make it into a problem. Make the addiction part of your awareness practice in the way described above. As awareness grows, addictive patterns will weaken and eventually dissolve. Remember however, to catch any thoughts that justify the addictive behavior, sometimes with clever arguments, as they arise in your mind. Ask yourself, Who is taking here? And you will realize the addicting is talking. As long as you know that, as long as you are present as the observer of your mind, it is less likely to trick you into doing what it wants.
For a chance to win a free copy ofA New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61)
Instead of smoking might I recommend these healthy alternatives?
Mah Jong or other computer games that utilize both the brain and the hands.
A new hobby like Knitting or Crotchetting. You really want to use your mind as much as your body when attempting to distract yourself.
I also highly recommend engaging the body in a respectful and challenging way (in other words get off the couch so you'll stop obsessing about smoking). Kickboxing and yoga are my favorite ways to whip my new self into shape and engage my body in a challenge.
Discover something new about yourself. Give yourself persmission to LEARN something new. You're brain has been allowed to slide a little while smoking. Time to work it.
The Economist has a story on how to Save a Billion People's Lives.
Help them quit smoking.
I'm running a contest over at BlogFabulous to give away one hardback copy of A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61)
This is the book Oprah's teaching her online course on beginnning March 3. Leave a comment on the entry to enter. Winner will be drawn out of a hat and announced on Monday morning.
The good news is that after quite a few months, but in less than a year, you'll feel like smoking was part of some strange past life you can't comprehend.
The bad news is that it's harder for me to want to talk and write about it.
Check out the I Want To Change My Family Tree Carnival. Lots of ways to do it are included - including quitting smoking.
Okay all those out there who are desperate to quit feeling desperate for a smoke . . .
Now, I realize my next bit of advice might sound a bit kooky - but, hear me out.
If you really want relief from cravings you can try tapping on pressure points while focusing on the feelings to release them from your body.
How does it work?
I haven't the slightest idea. But, I don't know how addiction really works either but my lack of knowledge didn't stop me from becoming addicted.
One of the worst things about addiction is that we can't control our feelings about it.
And when other negative feelings come up our first coping response is to smoke. Which only makes our feelings worse.
Try this instead. It's a video at tapping.com and it's F-R-E-E. So seriously, you don't have anything to lose.
Yes, I've tried it after hearing how it works from several people. Yes, I feel a bit kooky considering what a cynic I've been most of my life. Yes, I think it worked. Afterwards, I felt like I'd done yoga for an hour and meditated and I've been trying to resurrect those negative feelings, but I can't. I don't know where they've gone, but the feelings I wanted to be rid of have seemingly disappeared.
You're a smoker. Which means, you've probably tried a LOT of things. Try this. Won't kill you. Isn't dangerous, Isn't addictive. Doesn't cost any money. What do you really have to lose?
Come back and tell us if it works.
I've been growing in my spirituality since beginning my journey of recovery. Recovery from many things really - anxiety medication, depression and anxiety and smoking.
Here's what I know - you have to pray. Whatever form that takes for you, "God, get me through this craving" is a simple utterance that is so effective it would be foolish not to do it.
Now, smokers meditate a lot. We go out and reflect and have an internal conversation.
Talking to so many smokers I hearing the same thing over and over again: I've been praying for something like Chantix for 10 years.
Well, it worked!
For me it seems obvious that while we created our own addiction prisons - most of us were only children who didn't understand the implications until it was too late.
But, by the same token, perhaps through collectively praying for a cure, something to help us quit effectively, we created our own cure.
We gave God the motivation to inspire whatever doctor and whatever financing it took to create our own blue miracle.
So fellow smokers - Thank You!
God, Thank You for listening to our collective prayers for freedom.
Be proud. Be grateful. Give thanks.
Go to your DVR right now and program Oprah on Tuesday. America's favorite Dr. is going to talk about quiting smoking. He's going to discuss the new medications, like Chantix and how to quit this addiction that's as difficult as quitting Heroin.
DVR. Now. Tuesday.
Therapy Doc is throwing in the towel on the Carnival of All Substances so you better hurry and read the last one.
One of my quitters, Susie, says she had a "major relapse."
Lets define a major relapse:
Relapse is when you give up. You say - screw this I'm a smoker, I'll always be a smoker, I'll smoke forever, I'm adding the smokes back into my budget, I don't care what anyone thinks, I don't care if it kills me, I'm quitting the Chantix - I'm SMOKING.
If that describes you today then Okay. So, you're not ready for this. Maybe you should give it a rest and see if you can be happy in your life as a smoker. We'll be here when you decide to give quitting another go.
I don't think that describes Susie.
Her comment reads like this: Major relapse. Feels like 3 months down the drain. Anger. Guilt. Can't get my head around it all. 35 years of smoking and I feel like it OWNS me. Back on Chantix and will try again. My husband and boys so sweet and understanding...makes it worse, I think! Thanks for listening, Tracee. Susie
Susie describes anger and guilt and disappointment. A major relapse would be if she said To Hell with it!
Maybe Susie smoked a pack of cigarettes. Oh no! Not that! It's all undone. She'll have to start her counter over at day 1!
While I understand that addiction psychology I don't necessarily subscribe to it. I'm not a day counter recovering addict myself. I never found counting days and starting over to be a helpful tool for me.
I cheated after starting Chantix. Many, many people cheated. It's okay. No one is perfect and you're an addict for heaven's sake. Smoking does OWN you and it is hard work to get possession of your own self again.
I would define what Susie experienced as a Lapse.
A temporary lapse in strength and judgement. A slight weakness in her quit. Surely nothing insurmountable.
Actually, I think a lapse can be a very positive thing for someone who is quitting smoking or any other addiction. When we quit something we keep thinking "If only I could smoke I could be happy." We feel denied. We want what we had, freedom to smoke, back.
But, when you have a lapse and you cheat your realize a major truth. You can never have that back. Every time you smoke, from here on out, you will feel guilt and anger and disappointment. The rush or kick-back will never be yours again.
The only way to make the pain stop now is to quit smoking and never do it again. Every single time you cheat you will have the same gut-wrenching anger, guilt and disappointment. Who wants to live life like that - especially 20 times a day?
Susie, don't beat yourself up over this. It happens. It's part of quitting for millions of people just like you.
I recommend this: write down what you expected to get out of smoking. Then right down what you actually got out of it.
Did you want to feel relaxed? Were you looking for a relief from pressure? Were you trying to avoid anger or anxiety? Were you trying to hide from something?
Did smoking help you achieve that goal? If the smoking produced anger, disappointment and pain instead of what you wanted it to do, then it's time to make some changes.
Decide how you can get relief from stress. Maybe you need to take a yoga class. Decide how you can deal with anger or anxiety. Maybe a run will help with these emotions. Decide what you need to do in the relationship that's causing tension or stress. Maybe you have to let some toxic people go. I'm saying smoking can't be a solution for you. But, you owe it to yourself to find a healthy solution.
It's just a lapse. You can still do this. Of course you can!
If you are quitting smoking, especially with Chantix, you've realized that while your body has a physical addiction the real challenge is to change your mind.
The nature of addiction is that your mind and thoughts are obsessive about one substance or activity - in this case smoking - and unless you regain control of it, you'll be tied to the addiction forever.
Pre-Chantix I literally thought about smoking in an obsessive, distracting and relentless way. Talk about being controlled by smoking. I did not even have autonomous control over my own thoughts.
Every thought was connected to smoking in some way. I'll finish this task after I smoke. I'll deal with my husband after I smoke. When I finish smoking I'll finish writing. I'll be happy if I just have a smoke. I can't be happy unless I'm smoking. Do I have enough money for smokes?
When all my thoughts were consumed with the desperate and uncontrollable need to smoke I was very, very unhappy!
Once the Chantix helped me eliminate my need for smoking, I had nothing to think about. Does that make any sense? All the sudden I had all this free brain power. I found my mind was ready and willing to go into negativity.
It's like a habit, even a hobby my brain had. I'd replay arguments with my husband, I'd go over negative conversations with friends. I'd go back to bad experiences and events and relive them.
Fact One in life is that reliving or replaying negative events can't change them. You can't rewrite the past. So what good is it to revisit it? It doesn't help us get anywhere.
Negative thinking felt like as much a habit as the smoking did, only now that I wasn't thinking about smoking, I had more time for negative thinking.
This isn't a harmless hobby or habit. Have you heard of the law of attraction, which simply states that our reality is the product of our thoughts? If there is even limited truth in this statement, then negative thinking has direct negative consequences on our realities.
I've dedicated the last few months of retraining my thoughts. I've used various techniques to break my nasty negative thinking habit.
I've been experimenting with the law of attraction by listening to a program called The Law of Attraction Action Pack presented by Master Mind Mentor that I won (attracted) on a radio show.
It takes effort to master ones' own mind. But, if you can't even control your own thoughts, what on earth can you control?
With my smoking, I also gave up a little cynicism. I realized that I couldn't quit smoking alone - I needed Chantix, God, moral support from other quitters and help to retrain my thinking. You've started the Chantix, maybe your praying for help with your quit, and you're coming here for moral support.
I invite you to add to that, tools that will help you have better control over your own mind with Law of Attraction Action Pack presented by Master Mind Mentor. It's a 7 day audio program that will take you through meditation and some brain training to help you put more focus on what you DO want instead of what you DON'T want.
Perhaps, like me, you have connected your smoking to the emotion of anger.
Maybe you've heard that there is medical and scientific evidence connecting back pain to unresolved anger.
I would not be surprised if they connected smoking and other addictions to unresolved anger as well.
It feels like for the last 20 years I've been smoking a symbolic stick of anger that it's time for me to resolve.
I find I experience anger immediately following frustration if the frustration isn't immediately resolved.
Irrationally, I admit, I am in a fury when dealing with simple, everyday frustrations.
Looking in a box of cords for the specific cord that connects my MP3 player to the computer is likely to make me livid in seconds. I avoid all frustrating activities that involve technology.
Completely irrationally I direct this anger at my husband.
In my mind, he is responsible for organizing all technology.
Looking further into my anger it's really at the freaking idiots who invent technology and make different cords. Anyone in their right might would have made a freaking universal cord to attach ALL electronic devices to the same outlet in the computer. DUH!
See all that anger? See how worked up I can get over something seemingly mundane and completely out of my control?
Perhaps I connect this to smoking because right after giving up looking for the cord and calling my husband to make him responsible for looking for it, I would have previously smoked to calm myself down.
Now, I take some deep breaths and drink a tall glass of water or maybe heat myself some tea.
Don't get me started on the plethora of passwords we're expected to memorize and the asinine and arbitrary rules that vary between websites making some of them impossible to remember.
Or the rankling I feel when Yahoo changes the way I have to organize my bookmarks without warning or consent.
You've said it before, I'm quitting smoking this year.
But, then you didn't. You couldn't. You just . . .
It's freaking hard!
I read this article in Oprah Magazine by Stephanie Losee, titled The Willpower Myth. It was based on a book Change or Die: The Three Keys to Change at Work and in Life
Change or Die.
When you're a smoker those are literally your choices. You can change and become a non-smoker if you want to live. Or you can choose to keep smoking and live with the consequences: emphysema, lung cancer, chronic bronchitis, severely damaging your children. . . oh the list of negatives for smoking just never ends. They keep coming up with more and more reasons to quit smoking.
Let's face it - this is not new information for you. What will be different this time?
Chantix: it's a little blue miracle in pill form. It won't make it exactly easy to quit smoking but it will take you from the depths of hell into simple doable purgatory - which changes everything. Because when it was hell, you couldn't do it. Now that it's only purgatory - well, now you can be a quitter. Go get a prescription - you have nothing to lose.
Relationship: You need support and I'm a been-there -done- that kind of girl. I quit smoking in 2007 and I want to help you quit smoking in 2008. If you think you've got it worse than I did - read I Suck. Feel free to stop by day or night for any support you need.
Repeating: this probably isn't the first time you've quit smoking - so you're going to be better at it this time. All the other times were just practice. And you know what they say about practice.
Reframing: This may be the most important thing you're going to do for yourself. You're going to change your thinking. You're going to do whatever corny thing you have to in order to change your thinking. One thing that worked for me was to write I Am A Non-Smoker on my wrist and my bathroom mirror. I did it for months. Corny? Yes. But, who cares if it's effective?
You can do this. 2008 is your year.
Be a quitter!
Yes, well we all know Christmas was stressful - but it's a family holiday.
Next Tuesday is New Year's and if it hasn't occurred to you - it's about to occur to you that you might be around more alcohol and ... cigarettes on New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve is a Party Holiday.
Here's the thing. I know that low and mournful feeling of thinking of yourself staying home from the party and missing all that fun and excitement. But. . .
Well. Maybe you've outgrown it.
You're in a very tender period at the moment. Vulnerable to relapse.
Your mind is telling you that perhaps, now that you haven't smoked for a bit, that you could maybe be a social smoker and only smoke on the big holidays or nights out on the town.
Fact: You can not.
IF you were a social smoker you would not need Chantix to quit smoking. IF you were at all capable of socially smoking you would not need support or medical intervention to quit.
ADDICTS need medical intervention and social support to quit smoking. ADDICTS have crossed a line - the line between being capable of controlling a substance or having a substance control them.
See the difference?
Because you have crossed the line you can never, ever go back.
Smoking will never and can never be casual or social for you. You're not like the others who never took it up seriously.
The sooner you accept that - the sooner you can free yourself from the self-made prison of addiction.
If you are one of the blessed Chantix users you may have noticed that other addictive urges have been quelled. You no longer feel the urge to drink alcohol, maybe your desire for coffee is lessened. Maybe you're not wishing you had a Xanex, pain pill or donut. Maybe, just maybe, the Chantix is being more of a dopamine blocking miracle than you thought.
If you're feeling no urge to drink - don't do it.
If you're feeling like you'll smoke if you go to the party - don't go.
I told you you could make it through Christmas without smoking.
Of course you could.
I knew it all along.
As a reward, every Christmas from here on out will be smoke-free. And by free I mean free of thoughts of smoking too. By next Christmas you'll be a full fledged non-smoker who doesn't think about smoking. Cause why would you? Non-smokers don't think about smoking.
Now that you've made it through the stress of the Holidays . . .
You can make it through anything.
Right?
Right.
Pat yourself on the back please. You did very, very well.
And if you cheated - well, a lapse isn't a relapse. You quit again today. Right?
Right.
Don’t let the Holidays stress you out.
I actually saw that sign at a pharmacy this year.
That's the way I (we?) USED to do things. Let the stress run my life until I needed pills and smokes and drinks to cope. But, doing things that way resulted in me going to rehab for a Xanex addiction several years ago over Christmas (no kidding) and smoking for 20 years to cope with the stress of life.
Now, I'm learning to eliminate more stress than I can handle. Where I used to spend Christmas buying gifts for everyone on the planet and putting crappy presents no one needs on credit cards that would take me till March 3 years later to pay back - now I simply refuse.
I used to run from the Christmas Eve Communion ceremony from my husband's family does to my Grandma's White Elephant Gift Party to the Playing Santa all night to the Opening Presents on Christmas morning to the In-law Christmas Party for lunch to the Grandma's Christmas Dinner to the falling exhausted into my bed.
No freaking wonder I needed a smoke to keep up the pace!
Yes, I boycotted extended family Christmas giving. I sent out an email far in advance simply stating that we were not participating in gift-giving. Period. I later agreed to participate in a $10 white elephant gift exchange on his side. On my side, my siblings and I agreed to give to one family per year.
I also restructured what I am willing to do as far as party-going. No, I will not go to 3 houses and run myself ragged. Schedule your party on a different day if you'd like us to attend.
Which resulted in a Sunday party at my Grandmother's for a white elephant exchange. A Christmas Eve daytime party at my mother-in-laws for a White Elephant Exchange.
At the last minute my husband wanted to throw in an extra church service.
No, honey, I don't want to attend more events. Too many activities make me cranky and tired and I'm already at my limit.
Christmas is all to ourselves in our new home watching our children play with their new toys. And nearly all of them I bought at garage sales so I need not use a credit card.
I realize it's Christmas Eve and a little too late to be boycotting this year. However, if you're looking at that sign and thinking you'd like a Xanex or a smoke, then after the meals are eaten and the presents opened is a wonderful time to have a chat about downsizing next year's Christmas gifting and events.
Learning to say no is a great way to reduce stress.
I hope you have a lovely smoke-free Holiday.
Foggy head is totally normal when you first quit (Nancy and others).
Think of it this way: you're brain is programed to think with a cigarette between your synapses.
Like this thought + smoke = completion of thought. You spent a lot of your time thinking while smoking or holding off decisions until you could smoke or hurrying to do something so you could go smoke. You've trained your brain to use smoking in the process of thinking.
You're entire brain is going to have to be retrained to think and process thought without smoking. And Chantix can't do that for you.
It is very frustrating in the beginning, but a brain retrains itself pretty quickly. In about two months you'll feel like you can think better than before.
In the meantime, avoid major decisions, cut yourself lots of slack, forgive everyone including yourself and realize that this will pass.
You might speed the process of brain building by taking up a new skill that requires learning something new like knitting, sudoku, video games or yoga. This will help your brain build new bridges between thoughts.
Hold on to your ass and distract yourself, in other words.
One top New Year's Resolution for people is to quit smoking. Who hasn't made this resolution and failed? Maybe 2008 should be your year for success.
I have to report - having succeeded at quitting smoking in 2007 - that it was one of the hardest and most painful resolutions I've ever accomplished. I am so thrilled to be free of that monster! I want that for you too.
I'm just saying, with the invention of Chantix in 2007 making it so much easier - maybe you're ready to quit smoking.
One of our quitters, Brandie, says her first day of not smoking will be Christmas Eve. What a wonderful time - she'll be birthing a new self with new habits and new coping strategies.
Call your doctor. Get the prescription. Say good-bye to smoking and hello to freedom from smoking.
This is it for you Phillip Morris. You've tricked teenagers and seduced the young for much too long. It's time we grew up - it's time we took back our lives.
There really is NO good side to smoking. Not a single, solitary benefit.
Quit justifying and just quit. If you haven't done it already - make Jan. 1, 2008 your day of rebirth.
We just bought our first home.
It didn't hurt our savings and our ability to put a down payment on a house to quit spending $5-$10 a day on smokes. Duh, what a freaking waste of money that was.
This is a place with no smoking memories. I have never stepped out on the front porch to smoke here. Or hidden an emergency cigarette above the door or in my husband's closet. A fresh start is always nice.
A friend of my husband's came to help us move and had to take multiple smoke breaks. I wasn't even tempted to steal away with him and smuggle drags off his cigarette.
Why?
I'm free of that prison of my own making. I never want to chain myself to smoking again. It's a drain on both time and money. It's a drain on my emotional life and my connections to other people. It's a terrible example to my children and frankly, it might actually kill me.
His friend and I had a quitting conversation. You know, the same one you had a million times when you were trying to find any reason to keep your addiction going.
My doctor wouldn't give me the prescription.
Fire him. Get a new doctor.
I can't afford the prescription.
The prescription is cheaper than cigarettes.
I told my insurance I'm a non-smoker, they won't cover it.
Even if you go to a new doctor and pay full price for the visit, and then pay full price for the prescription for 3 months, it is still cheaper than the never-ending drain on your financial life that continuing to smoke is.
But, then I'd have to have the money all at once instead of $5 at a time.
Well, perhaps one day you'll be ready.
Thank God I was finally ready. Are you ready to be a quitter?
