Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Cough Medicine

Strange what things I now connect to smoking. Being sick and taking cough medicine.

You know how you would go to the doctor and tells you to stop smoking while you are sick. And you would think "right."

Of course I smoked when I was sick.

I'm finding my cravings are virtually gone until something associates me to smoking again.

Today it's being sick. Taking cough medication. It's making me want to smoke. Which was stupid the first time and even more stupid this time.

But, smoking has no more power over me. I don't smoke. I'll resist this left-over association and I will not feel the craving next time. That seems to be the way it's working - craving the first time, but then it's over. Sigh.

6 comments:

Mary said...

I know exactly what you mean. I'm on my 10th week of not smoking and I pretty much don't even think about it anymore, except when I do something that I've always done before, only now I'm doing it as a non smoker.I find myself stressing about it a little and then after it's done,I realize I usually don't even get a craving or urge. I'm a little concerned about the new year tho. We go to vegas and I'm concerned about all the other smokers ect...Anyway, I'm trying to be positve and remind myself...I am a non smoker. I do not smoke.
Mary

Anonymous said...

I hope I can get to the point you are, Tracee. I feel like smoking OWNS me. I don't smoke, sure. But I don't smoke all day long, on purpose. You know? I'll be so glad when I don't think about the fact that I'm not smoking. Still, it's easier, certainly, week by week. Here I am at week 9....

Susie

Tracee said...

Mary,

Certainly the trip to Vegas will tempt you.

But, you're a non-smoker now. There are people who never associated trips to Vegas with smoking. You're one of them now.

You might try changing your memory. For instance, you always see yourself in your head having a great time in Vegas and you always have a cigarette. Try picturing the memory WITHOUT the smoking.

It still would have been a great time. Right? It wasn't the smoking that made the great time. Smoking was a prop you no longer need.

I spent the mellinium in Vegas. It was fun. Would have been more fun if I didn't smoke though right?

Tracee said...

Susie,

You will get there. Celebrate every 10 minutes you do not think of smoking and every single hour that you choose not to smoke.

Smoking did own you.

This is what it feels like to take your life back.

Ever seen one of those movies where prisoners can't stand living free in the world because they miss prison. They commit suicide or they go back to prison on purpose.

Freedom, when first won - is always hard. It takes some practice and some getting used to.

Replace each instance of smoking with a new coping mechanism and you'll soon stop thinking about smoking.

Right now you're feeling VOID. Fill the spaces and the void passes.

Jeff said...

Damn 8 months here of being smoke free. Got my first cold, damn it has been very easy, although I did sleep yesterday away

Tracee said...

yes, Jeff. When I smoked my colds developed into pneumonia or bronchitis. And I would stupidly say, "I just got very sick." As if it was something that accidentally happened to me instead of something I actually caused myself by smoking.

This time, it remained a cold. A simple cold that didn't get exasperated by my own stupidity and self-defeating behavior.