Stop Defeating Yourself

by Tracee Sioux

I can hardly wait for New Year's Eve to come because I never have to put "Quit Smoking - for real this time" on my list of resolutions. I can move on to getting organized and saving enough to take a real vacation.

The best thing about this year is that I've become a non-smoker. I really and truly quit smoking. Well, maybe the very best thing is that I've encouraged thousands of other smokers, to become non-smokers with the breakout success of one BlogFabulous post about the miracle drug Chantix (around 1,000 comments). It got so difficult to load up I started a new quit smoking support site at Quit Coping. It feels fantastic to effect the soul of the world in such a positive way.

If you still smoke here's what I want you to know:

You've been underestimating the tole smoking is taking on your emotional life.

The chronic sense of failure, guilt and shame is effecting everything you say, think and do. You've been doing it so long that you think it's who you are.

It's not.

You'll have to take my word for it, but after a few months you'll discover a deeper person underneath all those negative surface emotions and that person is worth knowing.

It's liberating and confidence-boosting to be without that sense of shame, guilt and failure.

Smoking undermined every relationship in my life. If you always leave a conversation to smoke you rob yourself of the full relationship - usually the healing, reconciliation and understanding that comes at the end of conversations.

You think you can't find the emotional strength to deal with people because you've been mentally checking out as soon as conflict comes up by thinking about how you'll escape to smoke.

That you can't deal with stress is a fiction created by your addiction to cigarettes. Period. It's a fiction and it will take some pain and a lot of practice - but you deserve to know that you can deal with everything you think you can't deal with. You can learn to deal with stress, loss, pain, trauma, anxiety, insomnia, conflict, boredom and every other emotion you've avoided by smoking.

You'll need to dedicate yourself to finding new coping strategies for every instance where you previously smoked. That's seriously uncomfortable. It's painful sometimes. It's overwhelming. I promise you - it's worth it.

There is no way to quit smoking with total ease and comfort. But, Chantix will take the edge off. And if you're a smoker, I know you understand that by edge I don't mean a slight discomfort, I mean the depths of hell. Chantix will elevate you to purgatory levels of discomfort which almost feels like heaven if you've ever been to the depths of hell.

Tomorrow is the Great International Smoke Out. Ten years ago I ended up on the front page of a Lithuanian newspaper for smoking it up on the street on this day. It's embarrassing to be held up as the epitome of stupidly continuing to smoke.

This year, when I see smokers on the street, I want to tell you: You don't have to smoke anymore.

Stop by Quit Coping and I'll hang with you every step of the way while you give up this self-loathing, self-defeating habit. You deserve to be a non-smoker.

Family Visit and Maturity
Blog Fabulous/Chantix (1,000 comments)
I suck
Addiction Off

Structure and Routine

by Tracee Sioux

The holidays are finally over and now it's back to daily structure and routine. What a relief.

I used to believe certain things about myself which were tied to smoking. Perhaps you can relate.

Probably do to the portrayal of smoking in films or television, I believed it signified my carefree, come-what-may, laissez fair, free spirit personality.

Then I quit smoking and what I missed the most was the structure and routine smoking provided in my life.

I did not smoke in a care free kind of way. I smoked at strategically placed intervals throughout the day and I wasn't the least flexible about it.

I smoked with my first cup of coffee, on my way to work, during breaks at work, after meals, while on the phone, after getting in the car, before and after tasks, etc.

If someone messed with my routine, by suggesting I skip the cigarette for another activity, I might very well lose it.

The most uncomfortable times during my quit has been those very structured times when I would stop what I was doing and have a cigarette.

Since there were 20 cigarettes during the day, there were 20 places that felt foreign and uncomfortable for me because my routine had been messed with.

It has been a totally achievable struggle to invent another routine for myself. A healthier routine that includes gree tea treats, walks, yoga and large glasses of water.

Post-Quit I now realize I'm not not really a laissez-fair, come-what-may kind of girl. I'm a girl who likes routine and feels secure within structure. I work from home so my structure is self-imposed, but it makes me feel more stable, secure, productive and safe to impose it on myself.

Has anyone else realized their need for structure was integral to their personality and connected it to smoking?

Know When to Quit

I love Martha Beck, who writes a column in Oprah Magazine. This month she wrote a great article about quitting.

You should really stop by and read Know When to Fold 'Em.

Recently, psychologists Gregory Miller and Carsten Wrosch set out to investigate the mental and physical health of people who resist quitting, and of those who throw in the towel when facing unattainable goals. The second group—the quitters—were healthier than their persistent peers on almost every variable. They suffered fewer health problems, from digestive trouble to rashes, and showed fewer signs of psychological stress, Martha writes.

If you're like me, and you are or you wouldn't be here, when you quit smoking you realized it was a bigger deal than you thought. Like the smoking was this thing keeping you tied to anger and immaturity or other habits you believed were too hard to change.

But, when you finally let go of the smoking you thought, hey if I can do that - what else do I want to change?

It's a little like a snowball. The smoking is the one thing that leads to more exercise, which leads to better eating, which leads to less drinking, which leads to more productivity, which leads to better parenting, which leads to a better marriage.

Before you know it - you're the best quitter on the block and your whole lifestyle is one that's healthier and feels better and . . .

Well, just go read that article. It puts a healthier, happier face on quitting. Gives you a great perspective on change.

Changing Life

You quit smoking so your life is changing in ways you couldn't predict. When free of addict thinking you become free to reinvent great big portions of you life. What will you do with your opportunity.

I told you before I took up the Law of Attraction and a spiritual quest. I welcome you on the same journey. I'm participating in A New Earth reading with Oprah and Eckhart Tolle.

I also won that Law of Attraction in 7 Days Action Pack from my new mentor Jeff Howard.

Since then I have attracted my perfect house with all the perfect colors and rooms in the perfect neighborhood. Even my daughter has a neighborhood full of new friends and I specifically prayed for that.

I've attracted a more harmonious marriage and a better relationship with my kids. I've attracted better friends - people I find more interesting, exciting and accepting of who I am.

I've become completely free of depression and learned to exercise for fun. I found the perfect jeans.

Just the other day I got an email offering me my dream Mac laptop for an unbelievable price. The exact amount I had to spend. It's like it popped right off my dream board into my hands. A gift.

I've received and cashed the same exact $500 check three times. This can only be explained by the Law of Attraction and a miracle from God.

I'm telling you this Law of Attraction thing works. Now my mentor Jeff Howard is teaching a teleseminar on Wednesdays for the next 5 weeks. He's asked me to speak tonight about my experience. I'm inviting all of you to participate in this event to improve your own life.

You wasted hundreds of thousands of dollars on smoking. You wasted uncountable hours on it. You believed you had to do it to be happy - regardless of the obvious self-destruction involved. This is an opportunity to do something different.

Come to the Attraction Mastery Teleseminar Series.

Brain on Chantix

New York Magazine This is My Brain on Chantix. Don't drink on chantix people - it's just not a good idea.

Flowering of Human Consciousness

Who is putting the kids to bed 15 minutes earlier tonight to make time to attend Oprah's online class?

Me, of course.

Are you too going to make time to discuss the Flowering of Human Consciousness as Eckhart Tolle describes?

If so, please join me at So Sioux Me where I'll be discussing the online course simultaneously over the next 10 weeks.

Awaken tonight at 8 pm Central time at Oprah.com and So Sioux Me.

A New Earth Community

Have you heard of The Ring of Fire? It's this theory of Martha Beck's, that when you pass through the ring of fire - a place of pain or hardship - and you discover your own strength and a portal into the divine you grow spiritually in a powerful way. Well, that's one theory about how the Law of Attraction works.

Quitting smoking is one of the ways that you can pass through the ring of fire resulting in spiritual growth.

Mainly because it's so damn hard that to rely on your own power means sure failure so you have no other choice but to cry out to God.

Don't let the opportunity pass to further your growth and transform your pain and addiction into a spiritual source of power and a centeredness.

I'm thrilled to announce that I've been asked by Oprah's staff to lead a community discussing A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61)over at my website So Sioux Me. Small communities will run simultaneously with the online course she and Eckhart Tolle will be teaching in March.

I'm inviting all my smokers to read the book and join the So Sioux Me community and get acquainted with your soul.

Tracee on Talk Radio Podcast

To listen to my radio debut on Healthy Wealthy Wow on Grapevine Radio click this podcast link. I think it went really well. Click on today's date (3rd one down).

It was pretty fun too.